


The last year of his life

by DC_Time



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Character Death, Major Illness, Protective Bruce Wayne, Protective Jason Todd, Sick Dick Grayson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29158614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DC_Time/pseuds/DC_Time
Summary: My brother was a good man, he was kind and smart, he was patient and compassionate.He was many things, to many to list all of them, and he taught me so much. But now I feel like I need to tell his story to others, so here is, this is how he lived the last year of his life...
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 52





	1. Sickness

**Author's Note:**

> Before starting, I have to say english is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistake I made, and don't doubt in letting me know about it to fix it, now enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim had been away for a while, but when he comes back to the manor, he looks awful.  
> But that was just the start of everything...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes, so don't doubt in letting me know about them so I can fix it.

My big brother was a good man... We didn't always got along, we used to argue, fight and get mad at each other. But we also used to laugh, play and joke, to fight but laugh at the end... Those are the things brothers do... Right?... 

My brother taught me many things, to many to be able to write all of them down. He taught me from the simplest things like playing games, to the most complex ones like the ignored beauty of the universe

My brother was a kind and smart man, he brought light to all of those who were filled with darkness, he managed to light up even the darkest of the rooms with his smile, he made the strangest inappropriate person feel welcome, he could turn a group of strangers in a family, he gave life to many things... 

Things took us by surprise. We all were distracted with the things happening around us that we didn't even realized... Not even the greatest detective noticed until it was already too late... 

He fought crime, he made everyone happy, he was kind and gentle, he was crafty and smart, he was a good man, he was... My brother...

### 

### 

Lately Tim hasn't been looking well, but he had been busy and away of the manor for his family to notice, so the moment he walked in, everyone realized how bad he actually was. 

He was grabbing at his chest, and he looked more pale than usual, he seemed to be having problems breathing and his skin was cold to the touch, but he was sweating

"Tim!" when Bruce saw him, he ran at his side, holding him in case he passed out, because he seemed like he would in any second

Bruce started to check him up along with Alfred, trying to figure out what was wrong with Tim.  
But apart of them, the only person in the manor was Damian. 

Dick was away in a mission with the titans and Jason... Well, you can't never be sure with him. 

But Damian didn't know what to do. In the past he had problems with Tim, he had a deep hate towards him, but not anymore, still they weren't the best brothers, but seeing Tim in that condition was kind of terrifying.  
Damian felt the uncomfortable feeling of dread setting on his gut. 

"Alfred, I'm taking him to the hospital, call the others and I'll see you there later" Bruce said to the butler before picking Tim up and carrying him to the car

Damian didn't know what to do, he just stayed on his place, following with his sight the butler going to the cave to contact his other brothers.

### 

### 

Dick sighed while he walked out of the abandoned building along with a criminal. That mission had taken him and his team days to complete, they even had to split to cover more terrain, but finally Dick caught the last of the criminals.  
When his team had gone to stop a drug cartel, some of the members managed to got away, some of them going to abandoned but big areas to hide in the old buildings, making harder for the team to find them.  
But they finally finished and Dick couldn't be more relived. 

"Yeah, at least I hope so" he answered, sighing once again, in that moment he just wanted to go home, take a shower and sleep in his comfortable bed for at least 24 hours

"Good, Starfire should be here soon with her ship to pick us up" Wally let him know while taking the criminal from him so he could relax a little

And just like the speedster said, not long after that, the rest of his team arrived and they all got in the ship to head back to the quarters after sending the criminals to prison. 

But before that, Dick's comm activated, he recognized the signal comming from the cave, so he didn't doubt in answering

"I hope I'm not interrupting you master Richard, but I'm afraid this is an urgent matter" the voice of Alfred came from the other side of the line 

"I just finished my mission, what's wrong?" the tone in the voice of Alfred worried him 

"Master Timothy arrived to the manor a few minutes ago, but he was in an awful state, master Bruce took him to the hospital and asked me to contact you" he informed, and even if he was trying to sound calm, Dick recognized the worrisome hidden in his voice 

Dick stayed quiet after hearing that, trying to process the information, Tim? What was wrong with him? Was he hurt? What happened?  
He had many questions, but he knew that right now wasn't the moment to ask them, so he just nodded softly, but when he remembered that Alfred couldn't see that, he spoke

"Alright, thanks for letting me know, I'll see Bruce at the hospital" with that the connection ended and he glanced at his teammates

Everyone was looking at him worried, so he forced himself to smile to try to calm them a little bitbit

"Hey guys, you think you can leave me at Gotham's general Hospital?" asked with a grimace on his face

Starfire nodded, but it was Wally who asked "Is everything alright?" 

Dick bit his lower lip, unsure of answering, but finally decided to speak "I'm not sure, seems like something happened with Tim, I don't know the details yet but I'll let you guys know" he assured them and walked to the back of the ship to change into the civil clothes they carried in case of emergency

"Dick, we are here" Kori informed him once they were close enough for him to arrive fast but not too much to risk people seeing him walking out of the ship in his civilian clothes

"Thanks, I'll leave the rest on your hands guys" he said and left the ship 

"Call us if you need anything!" Wally's voice was the last thing he heard before he was already running to the hospital

He walked in and found Bruce sitting on the waiting room, he was looking at his hand, his face filled with worrisome

"Bruce!" Dick called him walking towards him "What happened?" he asked once he was close enough

Bruce stood up and laid his hands on Dick's shoulders "I'm not completely sure yet, Tim wasn't feeling good so I had to bring him here, we arrived just a moment ago so I'm still waiting for answers" explained with a grim expression

"Where are the others?" asked Dick looking around in case he had miss someone when he walked in

"Alfred is with Damian at the manor, but they should be coming here soon, I also asked him to contact you and Jason, you and I are only ones here for now" he answered guiding him to the chairs so they both could take a sit

Dick just gave a slight nod and sat besides Bruce. He was trying to remember if he had seen something in Tim the last time he saw him, but couldn't remember anything that seemed wrong. 

"Mister Wayne?" the voice of the doctor pulled him out of his thoughts

Bruce immediately went to meet him "How is my son?" he asked

"Seems like he has pneumonia, but luckily he's stable now, if you had brought him here any minute later maybe he wouldn't have been so lucky, but he should be able to recover soon, although I'm afraid right now we can't allow any visits to avoid risking any contagious" the doctor explained while checking the papers in his hands before looking at Bruce "Actually Mister Wayne, we would like to make a fast check up on you to make sure you didn't catch anything" 

Bruce nodded firmly and glanced at Dick "Stay here, I'll be back soon" he said to his eldest and left with the doctor

Dick stayed there for a few minutes, but he wanted to see Tim, so he walked up to the front desk to talk with the receptionist there

"Excuse me, could you please give me the room number of my brother?" asked putting on his most charming smile

"Sure, what's his name?" asked the woman smiling back at him 

"Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne" answered trying to look sneakily at the screen of the computer

The woman typed the name in the computer, but after getting the results, her smile erased and looked at Dick with a silent apology on her eyes

"I'm sorry, he's not allowed to receive any visits right" she informed him 

"Oh, what a shame... Well, thanks anyways" he faked disappointment and walked away 

He waited a little bit after that, and when the woman wasn't paying him any attention, he slipped away to the elevator, the one that would take him to the bedrooms.  
The woman hadn't told him the room number, but it wasn't necessary, he had looked at it when the woman wrote Tim's name, so he was now heading there, room 216...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first story here, so I hope you like it, I'm still learning how to use this platform so thanks for your patience and giving this story an opportunity


	2. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what happened with Tim, things start to set to the usual rhythm again, things are finally alright...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just need to clarify that I don't have medical experience, everything shown here comes from the research I've made, so keep in mind I could be wrong in some stuff in which case, let me know!

When Dick arrived to the room, he opened the door slightly, peeking in to make sure nobody else was inside. And once he was sure nobody was in there besides the person in the bed, he walked in, closing the door at his back.

"Hey Timmy" he called him softly, making him look at him, smiling weakly

Dick's heart broke a little seeing his little brother in that state, he looked so fragile and vulnerable, and had the general look and aura of someone sick. 

"I thought I didn't had visits allowed" Tim said looking at Dick with a raised eyebrow

DickDick chuckled softly and walked to the window, opening the curtains a little bit to allow sunlight to come in, it made the room feel more warm and alive

"What are you doing here?" Continued asking Tim, his voice sounded a little bit raspy

Dick shrugged a little "Bruce called me, besides, I wanted to be sure for myself you were better, so that's why I kind of ended braking into you room" he smirked amused and sat at edge of the bed 

"Well, I still feel awful, but I definitely feel better than before Bruce brought me, but seriously, you shouldn't be here, you could get sick" Tim warned him seriously

Dick downplayed that "Relax, I have a pretty strong immunological system" he assured showing his muscles as if that could prove it

Tim giggled at that "But still, you shouldn't take the risk"

"I know, I'll leave soon, I just wanted to see you" he said placing his hand on Tim's knee

Tim smiled for a moment before turning away from Dick and start coughing on his forearm. It sounded very bad, and when Tim look back at him, he tried to smile again

"I know it sounds bad, but don't worry, I'll live" he assured him "Now leave before someone comes in and sees you" he pushed him softly out of the bed with his leg 

"Alright, I'm leaving now, take care babybird" he glanced one last time at Tim, and once he was sure nobody was outside, he left the room

He hurried back to the waiting room, where he found that Bruce was already back and seemed to be looking for him

"Bruce, what did they told you?" he asked coming to stand at his side

"They said I was fine, but if symptoms started to appear I should come, but where were you?" he asked frowning a little

"Um... At the bathroom?" he smiled unsure 

"You went to see Tim..." It wasn't much of a question, he was more affirming

"I just wanted to see with my eyes how he was" Dick admitted

"Fine, but not more slipping into his room without permission, I don't need another sick son"

With that the conversation ended and they took a sit again to wait for the rest of the family to come.  
That's when Dick remember what he told his team and sent them a message to let them know that Tim was already doing better so they didn't have to worry anymore

A few minutes later, Alfred arrived with Damian.  
Alfred went to talk with Bruce about the situation, and Damian sit next to Dick

"Hey Dami, how are you feeling?" he asked him passing his arm over his shoulders 

"I'm fine, it's the idiot of Drake who's sick" he crossed his arms over his chest annoyed

"Don't worry little D, Tim will be better soon and before you realize he'll be back to the manor so you two can keep arguing with each other" Damian seemed annoyed, but Dick knew he was worried 

"He better be..." mumbled the youngest, making Dick chuckle softly

They stayed like that for a while, until they allowed Bruce to see Tim, of course, taking the needed precautions. But they couldn't allow many people in there, so after Bruce saw him, they had to go back to the manor. 

Later that day, Jason arrived to the manor, he was still wearing his Red Hood uniform and was covered in dirt and some bruises. He had been in a mission with the Outlaws when Alfred called him.  
Jason had made everything on his power to manage to go back to the manor as soon as possible to find out what was going on, and when everyone explained him the situation, his face turned in a worried expression, but when they told him Tim was better now, he sighed relieved, things seemed hopeful for Tim's recovery...

A little bit more of a month after, Tim finally was back home, it had took him a little bit more than expected to recover, but finally was back in his feet 

"So? How it feels to be back at home Tim?" Dick asked him 

Tim took a deep breath and smiled "It feels good, I was going nuts between those 4 white walls" he looked around, trying to see if something had changed in his absence, but everything had reminded the same

"You have to take better care of yourself Tim" Dick warned him 

Tim rolled his eyes, but he didn't stopped smiling "Yeah mother hen, I'll be more careful" he said jokingly

Dick laughed and ruffled Tim's hair, until Alfred called them down for dinner, he had made Tim's favorite.   
At the dinner table, Bruce, Jason and Damian waited for them, everyone was happy to have Tim back, what happened to him wasn't a pleasant experience for anyone, everyone had been dead worried, and the possibility that something suddenly could happan and go wrong, the possibility of loosing Tim was driving them crazy

But it had finally ended, and with some luck, they will never have to go through something like that. 

It's a shame that the Wayne are not exactly known for being lucky... 

A year later and all that was finally left in the past, Tim was doing alright and he didn't had any trouble after leaving the hospital, their lives kept going on as always. 

Until one day, Dick was training in the cave with Jason, they were fighting without weapons. 

In a moment of distraction, Dick knocked Jason down and kept him on his place with a wrestling hold

Jason grunted, it wasn't so easy to break out from such a strong hold, but for his surprise, there was something different. Dick was barely putting strength in the hold, so he was able to break free sand stand up again, going back to the fight. 

They continued for a few minutes moremore. Jason was just starting to feel the ache of his muscles for the effort, but that didn't seemed to be the case for Dick, Dick seemed to be totally out of breathbreath and a weird whistle seemed to be coming out of him with each breath he took

"You alright? You seem to be about to choke on air" Jason mocked him, Dick usually was capable to endure long hours of training and fighting, it was weird he was out of breath so soon considering they weren't even fighting with much intensity

Dick tried to even his breathing while holding his chest with a expression of pain on his face 

At seeing this, Jason's mockery turned into worrisome

"Hey, you alright? What's wrong?" he asked offering him a bottle of water

Dick drank a few sips and then looked at Jason, forcing himself to laugh a little "Let's leave it for today, I just think today is not my day" He tired to downplay it with a smile once his breathing seemed to calm down, but the unusual whistle was still there 

"Are you going to be ok?" Jason seemed unsure, looking at him raising an eyebrow looking at him while he walked to the exit of the cave

"Yeah, don't worry, I think I just need to rest a little bitbit, lately I've been doing a thousand things, with the Titans, I need an urgent rest or else I'll end turning into Tim" he laughed, making Jason smile with his comment

He felt better at seeing Jason smile, he didn't liked to make his family worried, he just needed to rest and everything will be alright... Right?...


	3. Symptoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He told himself it was nothing.  
> He thought he just needed to rest.  
> He believed he would he alright. 
> 
> But... Maybe it was something...

After what happened with Jason, Dick started to notice a constant pain on his chest, his spine and ribs, and it was worst when he was resting or laying on his bed. 

But that wasn't all, the whistle was still there, and continuously he felt out of breath without doing much, he also was feeling weak. Although that last thing might be due to him skipping mealsmeals, but he just didn't have appetite at all.  
He knew that wasn't okay, he had told Tim to take better care of himself, it would be hypocrite of himself if he didn't do it. 

"Master Dick, lately I've noticed you haven't been eating alright, are you feeling good?" asked Alfred concerned

"Oh, yeah Alfred, I just didn't had much time, but don't worry, it won't happen again" he promised for the sake of calming Alfred

Dick still did not have an appetite, but he started to force himself to eat at least something, even if it wasn't much, but after all, he had promised to Alfred, and he didn't want to worry anyone

"Dick, have you been eating well?" asked Bruce to him one day when they were arriving from patrol

Bruce noticed that Dick looked more skinny, and his Nightwing uniform that usually was thight, seemed to fit him more loosely

Dick rubbed his nape ashamed "Well, I did skipped some meals, but not too much, nothing out of the normal" he explained biting his lower lip 

But before Bruce could say something else, Dick started to cough violently, and it sounded really bad

Bruce got a little bit closer to him in case he needed help, but finally Dick managed to calm down. But when Dick looked down at his hand, he saw some blood in it, but he hurried to wipe it on his suit to avoid Bruce seeing it

"You might be getting sick, have you seen a doctor?" Bruce asked checking his temperature in case he had a fever

Dick shook his head at the question "No, I've been very busy with my job, the patrols, the titans and all that"

"I'll book an appointment for you to go and see Leslie" he told him leaving no space to rejection

Dick did planned to go to the appointment, but at the end he didn't, his team had called him of emergency for a mission, and he couldn't not go, so when he was back from the mission, he received a call from Bruce, scolding him for not going to the appointment. 

Dick did regretted not going to see Leslie, because after the mission, the pain on his spine got worst and he was having a hard time breathing, so he promised to Bruce he would go tomorrow. 

And he did that promise many more times... 

In one way or another, he always ended not going to his medical appointment, sometimes it was because an emergency on his work happened or sometimes because he didn't feel good that day, sometimes his arms and legs just felt weak and he just wanted to stay on his apartment and rest on his free time. He felt exhausted and didn't wanted to waste his few hours of free time to got to the medic when he just wanted to rest. 

Dick was starting to doze up when he heard his front door open. He tried to stand up in case it was a burglar or something, but he was surprised by the feeling on his limbs, he barely could feel them, they felt numb. 

But he calmed down a little when he saw that the person that had come into his apartment was just Bruce 

"Stand up and dress up, we are going to the doctor now" Bruce opened some of his drawers and throw at him a set of decent clothes

"What? Now? I'll go tomorrow, I told you through the phone" He explained making an extra effort to sit up

"You've been telling me that for almost 2 weeks, and since I see you are unable to keep your word, I'll take you there myself, Leslie is already waiting for us there, so don't take too long" and after that, Bruce left the bedroom

Dick knew that there was no point in arguing with Bruce, so he just resigned and got dressed up and fixed his hair with his fingers, just enough to look like a homeless dude. 

Once he was ready, he left the room, and together he and Bruce got out of the room and into Bruce's car. 

"I'm sorry" Dick apologized for all the times he promised to go but didn't "I did wanted to go, it's just that always something stopped me"

Bruce glanced at him and sighed, some of the tension finally leaving his body. 

"it's alright Dick, it's just that you haven't been looking well lately, I just want you to see Leslie so she can tell us what's wrong and you can start to recover" he explained trying to hide the worrisome in his face

"Don't worry B, it might just be a flu or an ugly stomach infection, or both, but nothing I can handle" he placed his hand on Bruce's shoulder trying to reassure him 

Bruce nodded softly, he could just hope so, but he just wanted everything to end and to Dick to be fine

When they arrived, they met with Leslie on her office, and the first thing she asked for was for Dick to describe to her his symptoms

Dick told her about the whistle he had when breathing, how he was out of breath constantly even when he wasn't doing muchmuch, he told her about his loose of appetite, the pain on his spine and chest and coughing blood

Bruce looked at him frowning for the last ones, he hadn't told him nothing about that. But he added how Dick seemed to be loosing weight at an alarming rate. 

"Alright Richard, could you come with me? I would like to make some exams and studies to discard other things" 

Dick and Leslie left the room, and BruBruce stayed on the office, waiting for them to come back.  
He had a bad feeling, many answers to Dick's problems appeared on his head, many terrible things, and he never wished to he more wrong than in that moment

After a few minutes, Dick came back alone and sat on the chair next to Bruce

"What did she told you?" Asked Bruce 

Dick's expression turned into a grim and shrugged a little bit

"She didn't told me much, she made some tests and took some blood and said she will take it to the labs and come to inform us later" Dick looked down at his feet, trying to ignore the fear eating him from the inside "Bruce...this is not something normal..."

Bruce wished to encourage him and to make him not think in the worst case scenario, but all those tests couldn't be for nothing... 

The wait was killing them, what was taking Leslie so long? It had been an hour or more already and they hadn't new of her, it was making them paranoid, it was giving to much time for their minds to think in the worst possible things 

But finally after what felt like an eternity, Leslie came back. 

They immediately knew something was wrong for the dark expression the doctor was wearing, she looked like she had been defeated and his eyes were shinning with sadness. She was holding some papers on her hands and she sat at the other side of the desk, looking at them. 

"So?" Bruce and Dick were worried for what the results could be to make the woman make such expression, but they couldn't wait anymore

The woman took a deep breath and bit her lower lip, it seemed she was struggling to say the words. She had given the same news to other people in the past, but this felt more personal, but she forced herself to keep her professionalism and looked at Dick 

"I'm afraid I have very bad news for you Richard" She said as gentle as she could

Dick smiled sadly "It's not nothing, nor a flu or an infection... Right?"

Leslie passed the papers to Bruce who started reading, and as he was going on, Dick saw the exact moment he went completely pale, he seemed nauseous, or like he would faint in any moment

"No Dick... It's not nothing..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you might already know what Dick has, but what's your guess?


	4. To lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now he knows the truth, he wish it was all a nightmare, but it's not. He knows the truth, but his brothers don't, but he just wants to keep living in his lie just a little bit more...

Bruce didn't dared to look at Dick, his sight fixed on the papers that Leslie gave him. He kept reading what it said there again and again, he couldn't believe what it said there, it had to be a mistake right?... 

He felt like he was about to pule, his head felt dizzy, his throat was closing and it's chest felt as if a huge weight was crushing him. 

Leslie reached and grabbed Dick's hands over the desk before sighing and speaking the words that would mark the beginning and the end of Dick Grayson... 

"Richard... You have lung cancer..."

The silence felt heavy on the room.   
Dick felt like his head stopped working for a moment

How could that be possible? 

Nothing felt real to him. He felt like he would wake up and find himself back on his bed in his apartment, or in his bedroom in the manor or in any other place but there

"... How?" that was the only thing he managed to say

Leslie cleared her throat and show them some radiographs she had brought along with the the other papers

"The pain you mentioned in your ribs and back is due to the cancer on your lungs spreading to those parts, to your bones in your ribcage" the doctor explained while she pointed to the parts she meant on the radiographs

Bruce seemed lost, but he forced himself to speak and ask the question that would determine what would happen from there on

"Is there something that can be done?" he asked afraid of the answer

"Well, chemotherapy and a surgery could help to control it and avoid the spreading to more parts of the body"she bit her lips and added what she hated the most of the situation "This type of cancer can develop very fast, and it's already in a very advanced step... I... Well... There's not much I can do anymore" she admitted with sadness on her eyes

"How long?" asked Dick in a very low voice, but Leslie still managed to hear him 

"How long for the chemotherapy or the surgery?" she questioned a little bit confused

Dick shook his head and looked at her "No... How much time do I have left?" 

Everyone in the room suddenly seemed to have a knot in their throat, but even if it was hard, Leslie had the duty to answer that question

"In this stage and with the treatment, maybe a year" she answered 

Dick nodded softly "What should I do now?"

"Well, it would be good to start with the chemotherapy as soon as possible, although I'm worried about the tumor in your back, but the surgery could help with that, and some meds could help with the pain and the problems you told me about in your limbs" she explained trying to be as professional as possible "I would like to start the chemotherapy this Tuesday, before the surgery, I want to see if it helps and how you progress with it, also I hope it avoids any more spreading" the doctor added 

"Do you know what caused that?" Bruce asked almost fearful of the answer

"Well, there are a few possibilities, usually smoking is one of the biggest causes, but also can be possible if there's a cancer story in the family, but in this case I think is because of radon, is a natural gas that can be practically anywhere, it doesn't have a smell so it can be hard to detect it, which reminds me, that you should check your house and any place where Richard spends time in case is there where he inhaled that, we don't want that happening to someone else" she explained, she hoped no, but if what happened to Dick, happened in the manor, then he might no be the only in danger

Bruce just nodded. If the exposition of Dick to the radon happened in his house, then that meant that the death of his son was going to be his fault... And who knows, maybe the death of the others too, just because he never realized the danger in his own home... 

"Then I'll see you next week doctor" Dick couldn't stay there anymore, so he shook Leslie's hand and stood up, ready to leave that place

"Of course, take lots of care Richard" the woman walked with him to the exit

"Let's go B?" Dick called him when he saw he wasn't moving

Bruce was pulled out of his thoughts, and said goodbye to Leslie before heading back to the car with Dick and start driving back to the manor. 

The travel back to the manor was quiet. Dick limited himself to look out through the window, thinking about what had happened, but at the same time he was trying to ignore it.   
His mind was a disaster, and Bruce's wasn't better, trying to forget the situation and focus on driving, but time to time, an awful thought managed to slip in his mind. 

Both of them, divided in thinking and ignoring. 

Bruce barely realized when they arrived to the manor "Hey Dick, we are here" he let him know when he saw how lost in thought he was 

"Bruce..." he called him softly and turned to look at him "Could you... Not tell the others about this? At least, not yet... Please?" he asked, with a begging look on his eyes 

Bruce nodded slightly "Of course..." he knew that the others deserved to know what was going on, but it was Dick's choice, so he just could hope he decided to tell them soon,because the sooner Dick told them, the sooner they could start dealing with that together. 

Dick doubted a little when he was finally in front of the door, he didn't know what was expecting him in the other side. He knew he needed to tell his family about his situation, but he felt that if he told them, then everything would turn real, painfully real... Right now he was numb, his mind hadn't properly registered what was happening, but he knew that in the moment he told someone, things were going to change... 

Bruce didn't pushed him, he waited patiently at his side, waiting for Dick to be ready to open the door. 

Dick took a deep breath and opened the door, walking through it, but immediately the look of the person laying on the couch stopped on him 

"Hey Dick! What brings you here?" asked Tim standing up to go and greet him 

Dick bit his lips at the sight of Tim, he felt like he was about to cry, but he did his best to stay strong, he didn't want to worry or scare Tim, he wanted to live in his lie that everything was okay just a little bit more... Just a little bit more... 

Bruce walked inside behind Dick and layed his hand on his shoulder for a moment before giving some space to Tim and Dick and headed to the cave, he needed to start the analysis that Leslie told home about of the places that Dick spent time at

"Are you alright? You look pale" Tim grimaced

Dick forced a smile on his face "I'm fine, just a little bit tired, I've been working a lot lately" answered ruffling Tim's hair "I'll go to rest in my room, but I'll be around for a while, so we can talk later" he assured him and left before Tim could say something else 

He hurried to get in his room and lock it behind him.   
He leaned against the door and slowly slided down, holding his legs against his chest, and he finally let go, starting to cry. 

He wanted to be strong, he wanted to face the bad things with a smile on his face, he wanted to laugh and act like it wasn't a big deal, just like he had been doing always... But this time it was different... 

Why? Why it was different? Why couldn't hear face this the same way he did with the other things? 

The answer was simple... It was because this, wasn't like the other things. 

He wasn't facing a criminal or a villain, he wasn't facing an injury that would heal with the time, he wasn't facing a bad time that would pass with the help of his love ones. 

None of that... What he was facing... He couldn't win...   
This couldn't even be considered a fight, because he had lost before even having the chance to fight back, and that was frustrating... 

He wanted to fight, he wanted to fight with all his might, and if he wins, it would be marvelous... But if he lost... Well, at least he tried, at least he fought, at least he had the choice to fight, he would knew that at least he fought for the small chance of winning... 

But in his situation... 

"I can't win..." he whispered to himself

And a phrase crossed his mind, it was the scariest phrase he could ever think aboutabout, more scary than anything he had ever heard before... 

"I'm dying"

But there was something that scared him even more, it completely terrified him to realize what had happened in that moment

He couldn't face what he was going through... 

He didn't had a choice in that awful situation... 

He couldn't win... 

He was dying... 

Those thoughts on itself weren't what scared him so much, what scared him more, it wasn't the meaning of those words, what terrified him, was the fact of having those thoughts. 

He realized what had happened, something that he never thought would happen to him... 

He had lost hope...


	5. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How he was going to deal with this? He couldn't do it...he couldn't do it alone... Maybe that was his answer to his problem, he wasn't alone, but first he had to tell them the truth...

The last two days, Dick had spent most of the time in his room alone. His brothers and Alfred were worried about this behavior, Bruce too, but at least he knew what was happening. 

Alfred would bring some food to Dick time to time, but Dick didn't said much to him, and when someone tied to encourage him to go out of his room, he dismissed everything saying he wasn't feeling well. That wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth neither. 

Bruce had managed to calm his brothers, he had asked them to leave him at peace, and that when he felt better, he would talk to them. 

It worked, they had left Dick at peace, but once in a while, Dick could see a shadow under his door, someone stopping at the front of his room, as if they were doubting whether to knock or not, but at the end, they always left. 

Dick recognized who it was, sometimes he heard the heavy steps caused for boots.  
Sometimes there where just very light and small steps.  
And sometimes he could hear naked feet against the floor. 

Dick recognized to who each steps belonged, and sometimes he craved to open the door and hug whoever was on the other side, but he wasn't ready yet, he wasn't ready to face the things... 

But, would he ever be? 

Maybe not, maybe he would never be truly ready, maybe that's what he needed to be ready... Say it... To say it aloud in the face of his brothers... Because once he says it aloud, the nightmare would become a reality, and then... Then he could face that reality, and then, maybe, just maybe, he would be ready... 

Dick stood up from his bed and walked to the door. Once again, he could see the shadow of someone on the other side, and when he heard a few steps, signaling that the person on the other side was walking away, he opened the door

"Jason..." Dick called him 

Jason froze in the middle of hallway when he heard the door opening, and when he heard his name, he turned around, finally facing Dick. 

Jason felt a knot in his stomach, both, he and his brothers had wanted to see Dick since they noticed he wasn't doing good, and now that Jason finally could see him... He couldn't help but to think that maybe it would be better if he hadn't because Dick looked... Bad... 

He had heard Bruce talking a few times about how Dick didn't looked good and how he might be sick a few weeks ago, but he hadn't had the chance to see for himself until that very moment, and he finally understood what Bruce meant, there was not better way to describe in that moment, he just looked bad, period. He looked a lot thinner, paler, with dark circles under his eyes, eyes that in the past seemed so alive and they just seemed defeated and lifeless, he also seemed exhausted, utterly exhausted. 

Dick walked out of the room and stood in front of Jason. They stared at each other's eyes without saying anything for a moment. 

"Go to the living room, tell the others to go there too, I'll see you there" Dick asked him and walked past him

Jason didn't know what else to say, so he just nodded for himself and headed to the living room, asking Alfred on his way to do the same and inform the others. 

Meanwhile, Dick headed to Bruce's office, he knocked a few times on the door, and when he heard his voice inviting him to enter, he walked in

"Dick..." Bruce seemed surprised, he definitely wasn't expecting him 

"Could you please come to the living room? I'm gonna tell them" He informed him staring at him 

"Are you ready?" Bruce asked while standing up and going around his desk to get closer to him

Dick shook his head at the question "No, I don't know if I ever be 'ready', but it's not worth to extend the silence, it's better to tell them now, is better that, than them finding out later when it's already too late" he explained hugging himself trying to find some comfort

Bruce placed his hands on Dick's shoulders, making him to look up, then Bruce smiled in a reassuring way to him.  
Dick smiled back at Bruce, and feeling a little bit more secure, he headed to the living room along with Bruce, and once there, he noticed the others were there already. 

"Todd informed us that you wanted to see us Grayson, what's going on? Why you've been acting so strange this last days? " Damian questioned him while crossing his arms over his chest and frowning

Dick sighed and signaled them to take a seat, but he didn't sat, he stayed on his feet, standing in front of his little brothers. 

"You see...You know lately I haven't been feeling good, so a few days before I arrived to the manor, I went to see Leslie..." he paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing "The results weren't good..." he confessed, his voice starting to break as he talked

His brothers looked at him worried, and Dick almost broke at realizing at who they were looking with such faces

"What did she told you?" Tim asked as softly as he could

"You want me to tell them?" Bruce offered at seeing how Dick was struggling and had gone quiet

"No, I have to do it" he answered and took another deep breath that cost him more effort to take than he would like to admit "She said that... I have lung cancer, it's already advanced and there's nothing much left to do..."

The room was filled with silence, to Dick it seemed like whole room had turned off, as if someone had covered the place with a big black blanket, leaving just darkness and silence

"You are going to die..." Damian's voice had been so quiet that Dick barely had managed to hear him, and it wasn't a question, it was an affirmation, and Damian had gave voice to the thought circling around everyone's heads

Still, Dick nodded with his head and glanced at his brothers, looking at his reactions. 

Damian had a lost look and he was barely moving, like he was in shock.  
Tim had both of his hands covering his mouth trying to muffle the sobs that escaped from his throat.  
Jason was staring at his feet, his hands on his head, trying to cover his face while he shook his head slightly, like he couldn't believe it.  
Alfred was looking a Dick with a deep sadness on his eyes, and although Dick knew it wasn't true, he felt as if Alfred were looking at someone who was already on the coffin. 

"Leslie said it would be better to star chemo this Tuesday..." he told looking down and squeezing his own hands

"Tuesday? Tomorrow?" Jason questioned looking up at him with surprise

Dick nodded softly "I'm sorry I didn't said anything before, I just needed time to process the things" he explained glancing at them

But Dick kept his look on the floor, until he saw someone standing in front of him, and when he looked up, he saw Tim

"... I'm sorry Dick..." he whispered and throw himself to hug him, but his hug was careful and gentle, like he was afraid of braking him or hurting him "We are here... For you, for anything you need from us" he assured him

Dick felt a knot in his throat and nodded once again while hugging Tim back with some sobs escaping his mouth

"This... No... No, this can't be happening..." Dick managed to hear Damian muttering under his breath

But unlike Tim who immediate had come closer to comfort Dick, Damian stood up and and turned around, walking away from them, soon leaving the room

"Damian!" Bruce called after him, and he was about to go after him, but he stopped when Alfred put his hand on his shoulder

"I'll talk with him master Bruce" he told him and glanced at Dick one last time with a look filled of sadness and pain, then he left to follow Damian

Bruce accepted that and stayed in the living room and soon he joined to Tim and Dick's hug

But it was Jason the only one who didn't moved, he stayed on the couch, he didn't moved from the position he had taken after hearing the 

Dick left out a few more sobs in the hug until he noticed Jason, he pulled away from the hug to be able to look at him better. 

"Jason?" he called him worried

Jason looked at Dick at his eyes, but he was unable to hold his look and ended looking down again, refusing to look at him again

"Are you alright?" Dick asked again trying to reach him with his hand

Jason suddenly stood up, and just like Damian, he ran away, but he didn't left just the room, he left the manor

Dick was stunned, but Tim hurried at his side to hug him again. 

That hadn't gone as good as Dick had expected...he just hoped that one day, Jason and Damian felt better and he hoped they didn't started to ignore him from there, he hoped they were back at how they were before he was gone...

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is my first story here, so I hope you liked it


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